Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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