Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
