dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
