..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
