Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
