It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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