big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
