Porn is love you can see.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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