i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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