i think i have herpe
just one?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
