Can i not drive my cunt home
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
