And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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