what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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