So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
