ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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