playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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