Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your penis caused this!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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