He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
