But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
