Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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