i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize