It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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