Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
