the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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