Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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