I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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