Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.