Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
