We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize