Reggie can tackle my bush.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize