Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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