Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
