The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
