farters have to be the big spoon...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize