I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can't turn off my feet"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize