Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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