Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
