When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
