She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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