I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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