Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
