found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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