Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
