thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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