hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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