i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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