I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
