There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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