It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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