I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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