Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
