Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well you can't waste a boner
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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