OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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