Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
