Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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