Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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