I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
