We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
