I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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