My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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