Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
