I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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