You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
