The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
