Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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