So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
