I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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